Records are meant to be broken. In India, if you ask me, world records are most frequently broken by stock markets — the fastest rise, fall in 24-hours, change in a week, month, etc etc. Indian stock exchanges should be in the Guinness book for the instances that current highs or lows are scaled for new ones.

A similar situation existed recently for forex rates (rupee against dollar), thankfully only for a few weeks, until the good looking Raghuram Rajan played spoiler. Rajan has also turned repo rate as much a subject of bedroom or party conversation as BMI or Glycemic Index, Salman Khan’s abs, MS Dhoni’s bikes or Sunny Leone’s curves. I have spotted Rajan’s comments in gossip sections, due to pleasant photo op opportunity. I won’t be surprised if staid RBI press conferences soon transform into Page-3 material, covered appropriately by Page-3 reporters. A possible query for Rajan: “`Sir, can you tell us about your fitness regimen and diet.’’

Moving on from economics to Bollywood, there are projections that Hrithik Roshan Krrish-3 starrer is going to break the Rs 2 billion record, topping Chennai Express and earlier blockbusters 3-Idiots or Dabangg-2. Hrithik’s father, also the director of Krissh-3 predictably believes his sons’ movie will cross Rs 10 billion.

Any projection about yet-to-be released Hindi movie is fraught with as much uncertainty as Narendra Modi becoming India’s next PM. Political or Hindi movie forecasts in India are as reliable as electoral exit or opinion polls.

Ranbir Kapoor starrer Besharam was supposed to be the next Dabangg and overtake Chennai Express. The movie created as much bang as a spurious imported Chinese Diwali cracker. In 2004, every survey predicted BJP as clear winner. In 2009, Advani probably had his suitcases packed to move into Race Course Road, just as Modi possibly thinks he will be addressing the nation from Red Fort next year instead of SRCC or Patna.

Paradoxically, cricket, of glorious uncertainties, is no longer so. Today, everybody is sure that India will chase down a 350 or near about total in one day cricket, as long as “mother f…..g, sister f….g’’ Virat Kohli bats at number three.

The Aussies, stuck to “monkey gate’’ lingo are yet to figure out Virat’s chaste Hindi expletives propelled sixes. Language is the secret of Kohli’s energy, I would like to believe. In politics, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh too has a record.

He is the longest serving PM of India, outside the Gandhi-Nehru family, the usual rulers of India. Manmohan’s record is a little unbecoming if you ask me.

I would say he is the longest serving lame duck PM of India. Looking back, even IK Gujral and Deve Gowda appear more effective. There is so much humility, honesty and soft spoken one can tolerate when the crying need is pro-activeness to take on dwindling growth, inflation, corruption. Are sweets relevant, when the patient is suffering acute diabetes?   

In cricket, there is talk Kohli may overtake Sachin Tendulkar’s monumental one-day record, going by current form and new rules weighed against bowlers that have turned sixes and fours the norm, singles and dot balls the novelty. This could be Ravi Shastri on TV: “Ishant Sharma bowls. It’s a six. Yuvraj retrieves; Ishant again. And that’s a doooooooooooooooooot ball. It’s all happening here in Ranchi; a dot ball. Do we see a Mexican wave?’’    

Sunil Gavaskar and Dean Jones are sure Virat will score more centuries than Sachin. Just the other day Sachin’s records were considered humanly impossible to scale, like Don Bradman’s test average. Like the stock exchange, new records are constantly being set in cricket somewhere. New permutations are constantly devised by full time cricket statisticians – highest 9th wicket stand with number three batsman; most sixes in a rain interrupted match; most fours scored by a number four batsman on a Sunday that happens to be Diwali.

Yesterday, I heard Dhoni broke the world record of staying not out in the second innings for a winning cause in a one day match. There should be creative courses on cricket statistics, like theatre. It is getting bizarre.

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