This is the second part of my French-learning experience till now, in Switzerland. I think Eliza Dolittle was lucky to learn English from Professor Higgins in My Fair Lady. Amitabh Bachchan, in Namak Halal, would have found French to be a much funnier language to master compared to English.

First up, the part that I have been handling well. It is pronouncing the alphabet R as it appears in a word. In French, R is spoken with a nasal twang that approximates the initial spitting motions of the throat. We Indians are master spitters, signs of which are apparent on walls, streets, platforms, footpaths.

While growing up, we used to line up for the longest spitter competition. My friend Rana (unfortunately, no more) was a master spitter. Given the cultural heritage, I am handling the R’s very well. My French tutor, as a matter of fact, has mentioned that I probably say the R’s better than the local residents.

That, I am afraid, has been the only part that has been smooth, so far. French is a difficult language. The basics are complicated. The articles, for instance. 

Everything, animate or inanimate is feminine or masculine. Thus there is a la, le, un, une to signify the gender of a city, fruit, road, vegetable, number, without any distinctive difference or formula to determine the difference. 

One just needs to figure out along the way. Moving on, the basic grammar is not simple to remember. As a matter of fact, there is plenty of mugging to do in French, which has never been my strong area. 

Auxiliary verbs “are or is” are referred to as Etre. Now in normal English, we permute “Is or Are” depending on plural or singular subject as in “He is, We are, You are, She is, They are.” 

Not in French. Each subject, I (Je), They (Ils/Elles), We (Nous), You (Tu or Vous), She/He (Elle/Il), is followed by a different Etre. Further, “You” has two forms, the formal (vous) and informal (tu). Hence, two different Etre’s. 

Thus, there are six forms of “is, are, am” depending on the subject, And they are, suis, es, est, sommes, etes, sont. It doesn’t stop here. Avoir or “to have” is similarly more elaborate. We have “has or have.” In French, there are as, a, avon, avez, ont and ai, as per the preceding subject. Even as one is struggling to remember the Etre and Avoir combos, one is hit by conjugation of Verbs. 

For instance, the verb “eat.”  In English, we say “We eat, they eat, she eats, I eat, you eat.” In French, “to Eat” is translated as “Manger.” 

For convenience we can refer to it as “Eater.” Here is the catch. Just like in Avoir and Etre, “Eater,” takes a different form with each subject:” “I Eate, you (informal) Eates, He/She Eate, We Eateon, you (formal) Eatez and they Eatent.” The verbs, thankfully, follow a formula. 

Thus, we have verbs ending with ER, as in Manger, following a pattern. Then there are verbs ending with IR and RE that follow patterns of their own. However, just as one begins to remember some conjugations, there are irregular verbs that follow no pattern. One has to just learn them by heart. 

A new language, it is said, is always difficult to learn. And, so it has been with me. I do take inspiration from little kids here, who seem to rattle off French sentences with ease, I am assuming with the right Etre and Avoir. Maybe, by consistently working hard, I will get there too. 

However, before concluding, I would like to state another complexity that I am currently struggling with. In English we say, “A beautiful house.” 

In French, the noun usually precedes the adjective, as in “A house beautiful,” or “une belle maison.”  Despite years of trying, and watching Shilpa Shetty videos, I have not been able to achieve the headstand. I hope to be able to inverse the way my brain works, in order to parle en Francais.